Proverbs 5:1-23--Warning Against Adultery

Proverbs 5
English Standard Version

Warning Against Adultery
5 My son, be attentive to my wisdom;
    incline your ear to my understanding,
2 that you may keep discretion,
    and your lips may guard knowledge.
3 For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,
    and her speech is smoother than oil,
4 but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
    sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
    her steps follow the path to Sheol;
6 she does not ponder the path of life;
    her ways wander, and she does not know it.

7 And now, O sons, listen to me,
    and do not depart from the words of my mouth.
8 Keep your way far from her,
    and do not go near the door of her house,
9 lest you give your honor to others
    and your years to the merciless,
10 lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
    and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,
11 and at the end of your life you groan,
    when your flesh and body are consumed,
12 and you say, “How I hated discipline,
    and my heart despised reproof!
13 I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
    or incline my ear to my instructors.
14 I am at the brink of utter ruin
    in the assembled congregation.”

​15 Drink water from your own cistern,
    flowing water from your own well.
16 Should your springs be scattered abroad,
    streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be for yourself alone,
    and not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
    and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
19     a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
    be intoxicated always in her love.
20 Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
    and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
21 For a man's ways are before the eyes of the LORD,
    and he ponders all his paths.
22 The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
    and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
23 He dies for lack of discipline,
    and because of his great folly he is led astray.

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Solomon once again wants to give father-son advice to his son (but also to all of his "sons" that he governs and all that would listen to his wisdom).  Solomon tells his son to stay away from prostitutes and seductive women that don't respect your marriage vows or your command from the LORD to stay pure for your wife that He's prepared for you (it's a safe assumption for most men that they want to do "adult" things, and those "adult" things are supposed to happen only with one woman within the covenant of marriage).  While I'm thinking about it, no-fault divorce and serial monogamy is not biblical either.  There is a large category of sexual sin where Jesus said divorce was permitted, but it is never God's will for married people to get divorced because 99.9% of the time, there is sin at the heart of divorce that has broken the relationship with God and each other, and God wants the sin to be dealt with and the sinner to repent and for the relationship to be restored, because that's how strong that love is supposed to be.  It is a model of how deep the Father's love for us is.  We sin against Him over and over, and over, and He still takes us back time and time again.

Let's get back to today's passage though, the lips of the seductive woman drip with honey (the seem sweet at first), but in the end she is as bitter as wormwood (something that tasted vile and would make you sick or die--it's the ingredient in vermouth and absinthe that give them their distinctive taste and also make them dangerous.  Her speech is smooth as oil at first (slippery), but in the end her words act as a double-edged sword.  You cannot remove that kind of sword without it cutting you because it cuts both directions.  There is no way to get involved in sexual sin and not get damaged.

The path such a woman walks is the path of death and destruction that leads to the Grave/Pit that is being used here in the place of what the Greeks would call Hades or Hell.  We know it as a place of "jail" for those who await final judgment, but it is now the place of the wicked.  In the Old Testament the saints would want to go to Paradise, or Abraham's Bossom as it is sometimes called, which was part of the place of the dead, but it was not a place of judgment, it was a place of blessing.  That is not the end the Solomon is describing here.  Solomon is describing a life of rebellion against God that may lead to physical death but is certainly indicative of a spiritually dead person who, unless they repent and come to God for atonement and forgiveness, has committed high-handed sins of rebellion that are worthy of both physical death and eternal damnation.  Don't walk the same road as such a person unless you want that end for yourself as well.  As the saying goes, "If you lay down with dogs, you're going to catch fleas" (or something close to that).  That is not to call anyone a "dog," but to say that you can't make bad choices and expect to walk away without any consequences.  If you commit adultery, expect to catch sexually transmitted diseases and infections, expect a broken home and marriage, and expect a broken relationship with your children.  You can also expect troubled marriages for your children who haven't seen you give them a good example.  If you engaged in this activity with someone at work, it might affect your ability to do your work, may affect your ability to work with certain clients or coworkers, and may lead to one or both of you getting fired for violation of ethical or moral standards set up by your workplace.  There may also be legal and financial consequences if the adultery leads to the woman becoming pregnant.  No one wants to think about these things in the moment, but Solomon is telling his son that it's not worth it.  There is no amount of temporary pleasure that is worth sacrificing your purity.

The lyrics of a song I learned as a child come to mind, "Guard your heart! Guard your heart!  Don't trade it for treasure, don't give it away.  Guard your heart!  Guard your heart!  As a payment for pleasure, it's a high price to pay......guard your heart."

Solomon tells his son not to go near such a woman (such a person has a reputation that usually proceeds them).  Don't even go near her house, and definitely don't enter its door.  Don't flirt with sin like this.  It's dangerous and you don't go anywhere close to it.  Engaging in such activity will guarantee that you will come under the natural consequences of that sin, and God will also inflict consequences on you to try to get you to stop and repent, but the damage will usually be permanent.  Your reputation and honor will forever be gone.  Solomon probably thinking of himself and all the trouble he got himself into is saying "Don't be like me wishing at the end of your life that you had listened to your father's instructions."  Solomon got all kinds of wise advice from David, but he didn't listen to any of it.  Why?  Because David had not modeled good behavior for his children.  Look at what he did with Bethsheba.  Even though the LORD forgave David, there were long-lasting consequences for his family.  Now Solomon has taken that to the next level and tried to fill his emptiness and brokenness with relationships and between wives and concubines has 1,000 women bound to him in one way or another.

"Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well." is an admonishment to find sexual fulfillment, pleasure and gratification from the woman you are married to.  Solomon also warns his son about being a womanizer and trying to keep relationships with many women who live in many different towns.  It doesn't work.  Instead of the refreshment that is supposed to come from marriage, it is exhausting to keep up with all those different lives you are trying to live, let alone the lies that usually accompany such behavior and always being afraid that you will get caught.  Instead, focus on making your marriage and family that God has blessed you with the best that you can.  Make it the most important thing right after your relationship with God.

If all this warning of the natural consequences wasn't enough, Solomon makes sure to say, "Don't forget that LORD sees and judges everything."  He not only will judge the actions, but also the desires of the heart and the things that we thought were done secretly in our hearts and our minds will read like an open book.  Solomon makes sure to say that the man that falls into adultery does so because of his own wicked and evil heart and lusts.  You can't simply blame the woman when the man went out looking for her.  He knew where her house was, and he knew what was going to happen when he got there.  Even if the sin happens in the heat of passion (that is usually a lie), it is often something the man has fanaticized about so much that he's ready for it when the moment presents itself.  No, he is as much to blame if not more.  Don't let a man tell you that he couldn't help himself, because that is a lie.  Solomon calls such men undisciplined fools who despise wisdom and instruction.  Do not be like these men.