Luke 16:18--Divorce and Remarriage

Luke 16:18
English Standard Version
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Divorce and Remarriage
18 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

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Today's text is short and to the point, but it does not stand alone in Scripture as the only place where divorce is condemned and forbidden.  So, let's not duck or dodge because it is a hard teaching that offends many in the world and in the Church and it will raise a question or two that I would like to try to answer from Scripture as much as I can.

Marriage is meant to be a lifetime commitment between one man and one woman.  There are a few exceptions that release a partner from the covenant they have made and make them free to remarry another and though this is permissible, it is in way required by Scripture.  We should never pressure anyone in either of these situations, especially the first I will mention, to remarry if they don't want to.  The first is given to us in the book of 1 Corinthians where Paul talks about if both the husband and the wife had been unsaved and one becomes a Christian and the non-believing spouse asks for a divorce, the believing spouse should not prevent them and the believing spouse is free from the covenant that made with the non-believing spouse.  You should not force a non-Christian to be unequally yoked with you, but the believing spouse should never initiate the process of divorce and should stay with the non-believing spouse if they don't seek divorce with the hope that the non-believing spouse and their children would hear the gospel and believe it.  (See 1 Corinthians 7:10-16 where this command Jesus gives is repeated by Paul along with the further details I gave).

The second way in which the covenant can be fulfilled so that you are free to marry another without fault would be in the case of natural death of one spouse and the surviving spouse wants to marry again.  This is a challenge for many though as they know their spouse's body is dead, but their spirit is not dead and they still feel bound to them even after their death.  If their conscience convicts them that they would feel like they were breaking their vows they made and they want to show the world that this love that represents the love Jesus has for His Church is eternal and even death cannot stop it, then they should be free to continue to live unmarried if they want to.  The Church in this case may need to rise up to help the widow or widower, especially with any children.

The third and last exception comes from Jesus in Matthew 19:1-12 where divorce and remarriage is permissible, yet not required, in the case of sexual immorality that breaks the covenant of marriage that the two had with each other.  Since this relationship is meant to model the gospel and God's relationship with us and we often break covenant with Him in a way tantamount to marital infidelity (look at how He described Israel's idolatry as whoring after other God's in the Old Testament and how God says in the Prophets that He wants a divorce, but the sake of His great name and the sake of His covenant that was to be fulfilled through Jesus, He would stay with Israel even though they didn't deserve it), we should also be willing where there is true repentance to forgive and be reconciled.  Even though the betrayal is hard bitterness and unforgiveness are not an option for a Christian, even in the face of marital unfaithfulness.

Any divorce for any other reason, even without remarriage is a sin (not an unforgivable sin) and any divorce for the purpose of marrying another is the same as adultery and anyone who marries a divorced person also commits adultery.  As I said earlier, I don't think this prohibition applies in the areas above where the Bible is clear that there are exemptions that someone is free to remarry.  Adultery was a high-handed sin of rebellion in the Old Testament where both parties were to be punished by death.  I'm not calling for that here, but Jesus is saying that's what no-fault divorce is-it is also a high-handed sin of rebellion because you are breaking your vows that you made before God and men, you are damaging one of the key witnesses of the gospel as it is shown to the Church and the world by our marriages, and you are damaging the reputation of God as you are living in a way that is consistent with the flesh and maybe worse than the world does seemingly saying that the God and the gospel of Jesus Christ never had any power to transform or change you.  We have a real problem with those identifying themselves as Christians being obedient to this command as we live in a society of no-fault divorce and we need to be clear in our premarital counseling and we need to be careful about guarding marriage as the Church--there is a reason that people are supposed to have to come to the Church to get married and that is because there should be a test to make sure they are both united with Christ first and that they understand that their covenant with each other is to model the agope love that Christ has for His Church--a people that He was willing to die for so that He would be united with them for all eternity in a union that would be even closer than sexual intimacy as we will be one with Christ as He and the Father are one in the Trinity.  Marriage is the closest that we can get here on earth to experiencing anything close to that level of intimacy, and it helps us look forward to what is to come, but it also helps us explain some very difficult things about God being three, but also being one as Christ, the husband and the wife are all separate, but they are all one and united in the bond of marriage because each partner is to be bound to Christ as well as to each other. 

Now for the hard part that I've said gently, but Jesus said it directly, so I will say it directly.  There is no other reason in Scripture given that makes divorce permissible and we are not to add or subtract from Scripture for any reason.  To do so is pervert the Word of God and to make a God of our own liking that would only say what we want Him to say and would never say things that upset us and is tantamount to idolatry.  One of the biggest arguments that I hear floating around today is that of spousal abuse, which I also think is terrible, but divorce is not the answer.  The answer is that the two should have never gotten married in the first place and that we do not spend enough time investigating one another before making a life-long commitment to each other because we look at divorce as an escape hatch.  On top of this, there are solutions given to us through law and justice for anyone who assaults another especially in the context of domestic violence.  I don't think society does enough to punish these crimes and if we look at the Old Testament for some guidance here, we would see that a person that acted out in violence like this in a way that showed that they did not respect God's Law or the life that God had given to others was committing a high-handed sin of rebellion and was at a minimum cast out of the community losing all their rights and privileges of citizenship and more likely the community by way of trial where evidence was presented and everything was agreed to be a minimum of two or three witnesses was sentenced to death.  In this case, the death exception that we mentioned earlier would be met.  Murder is not an option to get out of a marriage which is why I said "natural death" before.  Suicide should not be looked at as a way to get out of a marriage either.  However the government has the responsibility to "bear the sword" in Romans 13 and I think the answer to what we do with those who physically abuse others, especially as they escalate and threaten the lives of their wives and children is remedied through the criminal justice system and unless God intervenes to change the nature of that person, the end result most likely death.

We can do a better job as friends of the man and woman seeking marriage to keep them from marrying someone who we know will not keep their vows or who is dangerous.  Sometimes things happen where no one saw it coming (that is rare as typically everyone says after the fact that all the signs were there and they should have seen it coming).  In those cases, we must entrust the situation to God because He is able to protect us, but divorce is not the answer and while permissible in a few specific situations is never a prescription that we must follow.  Forgiveness and reconciliation should be our goals when possible.  If you've already been divorced and the other person has remarried, don't seek to break their relationship up so that they can reconcile with you, and if you've already remarried against the teachings of these passages mentioned today, then know that there is forgiveness for you and you should live in covenant with your new spouse loving them as Christ loves His Church.  We must not have a flippant attitude about divorce saying "Oh, God will forgive me" though as we are not to intentionally sin in ways that are nothing short of rebellion.  In many ways that proves that that we don't love God and don't belong to Him.  If we accidently fall into sin that's different, but divorce is not something you accidently fall into.  Two Christian persons should never divorce because they shouldn't be martially unfaithful to each other and neither is to initiate divorce proceedings.  Nor should a Christian be united with an unbelieving spouse--that too is sin.  Marriage is not to be seen as a missionary campaign to make yourself bound to someone who is lost with the hopes of saving them.  They will drag you down--you will not pull them up.

This is only a portion of what the Bible has to teach on marriage and divorce which is why there was so much to day about just one verse.  It was so important though that Jesus interjected it here in the middle of all the other conversations that He's having with the people and the Pharisees in His last things that He wants to say before His death, and it was one of the first things that He taught about in the Sermon on the Mount as well (Matthew 5:31-32 are almost identical to today's passage from Luke).  So then it was important enough to Jesus to make it some of His first and some if His last words.  Why then to we downplay it when Jesus says that the sanctity of marriage is one of the hallmarks of people who are truly His disciples?  Could it be that we want make converts (people that are Christian in name only) and are not really interested in the harder work of making disciples who are made into the image of Christ and show and tell the gospel in all ways in all things including their relationships with their spouses and children?  Is God in control of every area of your life?  If not, bring every thought and desire captive and make it submissive to Jesus for the sake of the gospel and be seeking the best for your spouse through sacrificial love where you may be willing to suffer for the sake of their salvation.  Jesus did no less for you.