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Journal Entries

2 Samuel 13:1-22--Amnon and Tamar

1/1/2023

 
2 Samuel 13:1-22
English Standard Version

Amnon and Tamar
13 Now Absalom, David's son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar. And after a time Amnon, David's son, loved her. 2 And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4 And he said to him, “O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.” 5 Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” 6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. And when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”

7 Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Go to your brother Amnon's house and prepare food for him.”
 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house, where he was lying down. And she took dough and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight and baked the cakes. 9 And she took the pan and emptied it out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Send out everyone from me.” So everyone went out from him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the chamber, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. 11 But when she brought them near him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.” 12 She answered him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this outrageous thing. 13 As for me, where could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 But he would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her.

15 Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up! Go!”
 16 But she said to him, “No, my brother, for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her. 17 He called the young man who served him and said, “Put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her.” 18 Now she was wearing a long robe with sleeves, for thus were the virgin daughters of the king dressed. So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. 19 And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore. And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went.

​20 And her brother Absalom said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? Now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this to heart.” So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom's house.
 21 When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22 But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had violated his sister Tamar.

There was another Tamar, the one in the lineage of Jesus in Matthew 1, that we talked about Genesis 38 (right in the middle of the story of Joseph is the story of Judah and Tamar).  This daughter of David is probably named after the Tamar in Genesis 38 though there stories could not be more different than one another.  This time, David's son Amnon fell in love with his half-sister Tamar (she was the full sister of Absalom).  Having sexual relations with any close relative including half-siblings or step-siblings was forbidden by the Law in Leviticus 18.  Specifically verse 11 speaks to what Amnon would do here, "You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father's wife's daughter, brought up in your father's family, since she is your sister."  God didn't care if Tamar was from a different mother than Amnon, since they had the same father and grew up in the same family, they were "brother" and "sister," and sexual relations were forbidden.

The LORD made Amnon ill because of this sinful lust that he had towards his own sister, and to protect her virginity, but Amnon would not be stopped by the Law of the LORD, nor by His corrective judgment.  Instead, Amnon seeks help from his friend, 
Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother, making Jonadab Amnon's cousin.  Jonadab saw how sickly Amnon looked and when he asked Amnon what ailed him, Amnon told him about how he loved his sister Tamar.  He did not have to explain more than this because it should have been obvious to Jonadab that the illness came from the LORD as judgment on Amnon for trying to have relations with his sister.  Instead of advising Amnon to stop sinning, which is what a real friend would have done, Jonadab says that Amnon needs to feign illness so that his father would come in and check on him to ask what can be done for him, and Amnon is to tell David that he is too sick to come to the table to eat, but that he wishes for his sister Tamar to prepare food for him and feed it to him in order to nurse him back to health.

It seems David had no idea of the incestuous intent of his son Amnon, as he goes back and commands Tamar to go to Amnon's house and prepare come cakes for him as he has requested.  She complied and went to Amnon's house with the dough and kneaded it and he watched her make the cakes for him.  Once she gave the cakes to eat, he refused to eat them, but instead commanded her to send everyone out of the house and he asked her to bring the food to him in his bedroom so that she could feed it to him there (so that he could eat in bed), even though he had been well enough to stand there and watch her make the food the entire time she was baking.  She should have known something was wrong, but she complied anyways.  With everyone else out of the house and them in the inner parts away from all the doors and windows, Amnon took Tamar by force when she came to feed him the cakes she had prepared and said, "Come, lie with me."  This should be brining back images from Genesis of Joseph and Potiphar's wife, but the roles have been reversed here.

She screams in protest saying, "No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this outrageous thing. As for me, where could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” (verses 12 and 13).  However, he would not listen to her, and because he was stronger than her, he took her by force and violated her and lay with her(sexually assaulted and raped her).

Because she did not return his "love" for her and she had refused him, he hated her from that day forward (and I'm sure she hated him for what he had done to her).  The text says the hate he had for her was even more passionate than the "love" (read that as lust) that he had for her.  He was so angry with her that he wanted to send her away, for he had no intent of making her his wife though he had violated her and taken her virginity away so that no man should marry her.  She refused to go away saying that him sending her away now after taking her virginity from her was a greater sin than the sexual assault and rape that he had committed.  When she wouldn't leave he called for his security team to put her out and bolt the door behind her so that she could not come back into the house again.

She was still dressed like a virgin (apparently all the virgin women wore long-sleeved robes so that they could be more easily identified by the men who were looking for someone to marry).  She returned to her father's house and put ashes on her head and tore her robe (both were signs of mourning).  As she went out from his house, she was crying loudly so that she made quite the scene and I'm sure most everyone heard her and knew that something terrible had happened, though probably few people would have guessed what actually happened.  Who would have thought that the son of King David would have sexually abused and raped one of his own sisters?

Absalom, her full-blooded brother, has been paying attention though and knows exactly what happened.  She doesn't even need to tell him because Absalom has probably been seeing the way that Amnon has been looking at her.  He tells her that because he is her brother (likely meaning because they are both children of the king), that she needs to be quiet about it,  Speaking out about it would only create scandal that would hurt King David.  She lived desolate, unable to be married to anyone, and her brother Absalom took care of her from that day on because he knew of what had happened to her.  Eventually word of this did reach King David, and he was very angry.  Things were starting to happen just the way the LORD told him they would.  His children were becoming just like him in his sinful ways.  Absalom wouldn't even talk to his brother Amnon anymore after this because of how he had violated Tamar, Absalom's sister.  This will start a downward spiral in Absalom's life as he will be upset about how David didn't do anything to stop this from happening, and he didn't do anything to punish Amnon once he knew about it, and Absalom will seed to overthrow David and take his throne away from him.  Absalom will decide that he will be judge, jury and executioner in the next passage we read and he is going to kill Amnon for his sin (the right penalty under the Law, but the wrong way to go about it, as there were no witnesses--Amnon made sure of that--who could turn him in and be the ones to stone him to death).  Absalom should have entrusted judgment to the LORD, but he did not, and he took vengeance into his own hands.  This is why Romans 12:19 tells us, "19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

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    Daniel Westfall

    I will mostly use this space for recording my "journal" from my daily devotions as I hope to encourage others to read the Bible along with me and to leave a legacy for others.

    Occasionally, I'll also post some true blog/opinion pieces focused on what the Bible has to say about current events or the importance of a particular spiritual discipline, or something more topic-related to orthodoxy (right belief) or orthopraxy (right living).  You can also find those blogs over at Faith and Culture.

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  • Home
  • What We Believe
    • Statement of Faith
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