1 Corinthians 7:25-40--The Unmarried and the Widowed

1 Corinthians 7:25-40
English Standard Version

The Unmarried and the Widowed​
25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. 29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.

32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

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As we talked about a couple of articles ago, God desires for those who are married to stay married and make reconciliation when at all possible because marriage is one of the closest things we can point to in this world as to what the covenant love of God is with "the elect."  If we mess up marriage we mess a really important way that we can share the gospel with others.  But what about those who are not married?  These fall into several categories that Paul addresses.

First Paul addresses those who are promised to be given in marriage to someone--it might be fair to say "engaged," but "betrothed" is actually a little more serious than what we would call engagement in the Western world as you often needed a divorce to break off a betrothal even though you had not consummated the marriage yet.  Paul says that it's not a command but that he feels that given the current situation that they were in that it was a good thing for the unmarried to remain unmarried and I think we see this more and more as the time of Christ's return approaches.  That is not to say that marriage is a bad thing, but we are no longer building the kingdom so much by physical reproduction and as the world becomes more and more evil, it may not be a great place to raise children, but instead the kingdom of God is now built by being spiritually reproductive through fulfilling The Great Commission, and many times this is easier for a single person to do than for someone who is married and especially someone who is married and has children as this can limit where they can go.

It is not a sin for a man to seek to be married if that is the desire that God has put within him, nor is it a sin for a woman to marry if that is the desire that God has put in her, yet they are a Christian they should not be unequally yoked to an unbeliever (that would be sin if they were unequally yoked at the time of marriage).  Those who do decide to marry will have to worry about other things other than the kingdom of God as they will have to worry about their spouse and likely their children, and while this is a wonderful way to show the gospel to the world, it is also something that can make it more challenging as we desire to "go and make disciples of all nations..."  The time is short and everyone married or unmarried needs to have a single-minded devotion to the Lord (this is theme of the sermon that I posted along with my blog a couple of days ago).

The unmarried person only has to worry about how to please the Lord, but the married person has to also worry about how to please their spouse.  Their devotion is divided--though again, not sin, it is just something that Paul addresses where if he had to choose, he would choose for people to not have that divided mind and spirit.  Keep in mind this is coming from someone who is unmarried.

I will say personally that I also fall into this category.  God has not given me the desire to be married and I think it has helped me to have a greater desire to please the Lord and be able to serve the Lord in ways that I wouldn't be able to do if I were not single.  I still have close ties to my family and am not without having some of the divided loyalties that Paul talks about here, but for the most part, I understood at young age that God was calling me to a life of singleness and this is a good thing--too many people in the Church have looked at me as a second-class Christian because of this of worse.  It's actually very sad some of the things that have happened in churches where I've attended and served, but this is probably not the place to talk about those things--just be aware that God calls different people to different stations in life and He definitely calls some people to be single and those people need to be content with that and make the most of that station in life to serve God.  Those who are called to be married must also be content with that and not seek other romantic relationships outside of marriage--the one preaching the message I linked to noted that this doesn't take away the temptation of sin, but just reduces the pool of people that you'd be committing sin with by one person.  In some ways though.

Paul also says that this desire to be married should be one that is made while being self-controlled.  You should not be "under the influence" of erotic love to the point where you can't think straight when you decide to get married to someone.  Paul encourages us to be sober-minded of what we are getting ourselves and our families into--it was very common at the time to have the Romans try to use someone's family against them to try to get them to recant and deny Christ and the gospel.  They would tell them to say "Caesar is lord" or they would kill their wife and children in front of them.  This is a hard place to be in and you must go into marriage knowing that if you have to choose between Christ and your wife or children, you must choose Christ.

Usually the wives outlived the husbands so there is no talk here about the wife dying first, but I think the principle in this last section is the same.  The marriage covenant only lasts until death.  The only other exception that seems to be made in this chapter to allow for remarriage is if both spouses were unsaved when married and one became a Christian after marriage and the unsaved spouse asks for a divorce because the saved person is no longer the person they fell in love with and married.  I see no other cases in the Bible that say that someone can divorce and remarry (an argument might be made since divorce is allowed in the case of marital unfaithfulness, but Jesus is clear that is something that is permissible but not commanded and that reconciliation is preferable).

Paul says that even though such a person is free to remarry, it is likely that they would be better off to remain unmarried for the same reasons he's already laid out in this section.  So it is good for someone to be married, but Paul thinks it is better for someone to remain unmarried.  That's usually not a teaching you hear in the Church today.  It however is not good to try to force someone to be single for whom God has given the desire to be married (see verse 9 of this chapter where Paul says it is better to marry than to be unmarried and burn with passion).

Neither being single nor being married disqualifies you or makes you more qualified for service in God's kingdom, but one day we will neither be married nor given in marriage but will be like the angels (having no gender and only being servants of God) and being completely devoted to His service thinking of no one and nothing else.  We will be the Bride of Christ and our only desire will be to be in perfect communion with and to please the Bridegroom, that is Christ.  (See Matthew 22 and Revelation 19).